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All too many times overwhelmed caregivers are physically and emotionally depleted and need to take time to rest and care for themselves. Believing in a holistic approach to caregiver stress and a strong commitment to helping our members find the right solutions, we created this blog to help you connect with others who, like you, may be facing the same eldercare issues and challenges. Feel free to comment, ask questions, and submit articles. Please forward the blog link to your family and friends. They'll be glad you did.

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Patricia Grace
founder & CEO
Aging with Grace

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Bullies with Gray Hair

Having worked for several years in assisted living I witnessed many episodes of bullying between residents. The first time I encountered it I was stunned that mature individuals would treat each other with such disrespect...Patricia Grace, Aging with Grace

Bullying may be a concern for teenagers in schools and through Facebook, but young people online are not the only targets of verbal abuse and social ostracism. Residential facilities for the elderly are not immune to abuse either.

Doris Lor, a retired secretary living in a retirement community in Chandler, Ariz., said she has been the victim of intimidation from other residents since she bought her home in 2003.

Lor, 76, lives in Solera Chandler Active Adult Retirement Community, which has more than 1,100 residents 55 years and older. She said a group of about a dozen elderly residents have not allowed her to use the community "clubhouse," where residents gather for luncheons and to play card games like canasta. "They have a clique that's meaner than mean. They don't allow you to take part in anything," Lor said. "I know another resident who still goes to play, and she just keeps her mouth shut, plays the game and leaves."

Lor said she has complained to Solera's staff, even recording a confrontation with a resident who refused to allow her to sit at a card table, but the intimidation continued. Lor said the situation became so "humiliating" that she no longer visits the communal spaces.

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1 comment:

  1. What an unfortunate circumstance. I think she was right to inform the staff and even gather evidence, since all people should be allowed to use the facilities equally. Hopefully this particular situation was resolved successfully, and that future incidences are reduced or avoided. Thanks for sharing!

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